My Illness

John Cadigan

John Cadigan is both the director and subject of People Think I'm Crazy.

In his own words, John describes his own illness, his recovery, and his concern for others suffering from similar brain diseases.

My Diagnosis

My official diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder, which means that in addition to having symptoms of schizophrenia, I also have trouble with depression.

My brain has trouble sorting out sensory input and often thinks thoughts that have no basis in reality. Some people with schizophrenia hear voices that aren't there. That's not me. My most troublesome symptom is paranoia—thinking people are out to get me, trying to hurt me.

My Gradual Recovery

I filmed the first ten years of living with my illness, starting with my first psychotic break on through establishing an art career and becoming independent.

The film shows all the little steps I took and how hard it has been to get better. And it shows how I probably wouldn’t have made it without all the help I got from my family.

There is Hope

Schizophrenia might not be curable yet—but it is treatable. I rely on medication, therapy, my artwork and the support of my family and friends to help get me through.

We Aren't Alone

There are twice as many people with schizophrenia as have Alzheimers, but a lot of people dealing with the disease don’t tell anyone.

I made the film to help the world know that, with a lot of help, we can build a fulfilling life for ourselves while living with the disease – just like anyone else can do when they have other brain diseases like Parkinson’s or multiple sclerosis or epilepsy.