My Life Now

I’ve learned to live with my illness—thanks to good treatments and lots of help from my family and doctors. To sum it up:

• I've been living independently since the film was finished
• I work regularly at my art
• My symptoms continue to evolve, but are generally manageable  
• I'm blushing, but I'll tell you anyway--I have a girlfriend!

Still Living Independently

I’m happy to report that I’ve been living by myself in the same apartment for over seven years, and I’ve never been late with my rent or any of my other bills.

We have inspections a couple of times a year and even though my mom and sisters worry about how messy I am, I clean up my place by myself and have passed every time.

My Art is Evolving--and I Got my First Commission!

I’ve mostly been doing large-format woodcuts, prints that are three to four feet tall.  I’m finished with a 6-part series based on the book of Genesis. I made one woodcut for each day of creation, and each day of creation is merged with both a story from Genesis and personal dream imagery.

I’m also experimenting with new mediums: I started painting with vivid colors about a year ago, and now I’m having fun making collages.  The collages were just in a show in Palo Alto; people liked them so much that almost all of them sold.

After we finished the film I got my first commission – to create two relief carvings for a healing chapel.  I studied stories from the gospels with my spiritual director before deciding which two to bring to life.  I would love to do more commissions.

I’ve also moved into a larger studio next to my old one.  If you are ever in the San Francisco area and would like to tour my studio – I’d be happy to show you around.

I'm Managing My Symptoms with Dr. Ballinger's Help--and Staying Sober

Most of the time I’m doing okay. The thoughts have never fully gone away, but they’re manageable.  I have had a few times when the symptoms have gotten so unbearable that I’ve decided to go into the hospital. I feel safe there.  I’m lucky because the county hospital near me is a good one. A long time ago I came up with a nickname for it: Club Meds.

I’ve stayed clean and sober – it’s been about 14 years now. That’s huge, and sometimes I can’t believe it has been that long.

My psychiatrist, Dr. Ballinger, is still the person I rely on to help me keep getting better. We’ve been together for 15 years now.  The best thing about Dr. Ballinger is her kindness, compassion and empathy. She’s helped me through every difficult time and has taught me a lot.